Discovering Your Partner’s Money Language
Written by: Bobbie Salow,
Senior Practice Manager
Money is often cited as the #1 reason couples fight.
Disagreements over finances are also a primary reason why some couples divorce. But arguments about finances don’t have to drive you apart. Learning your partner's money language could be the glue that bonds you as a couple.
What is a Money Language?
A money language is how you view money, and the understanding of how you use money to express yourself. When combining finances, couples are not always on the same page. Talking about the different ways you view and use money can be somewhat daunting at first, but understanding your core financial values are necessary to establishing good communication about your finances.
For example, you may think your morning coffee run is an absolute necessity, but your partner might think saving that $3-4 per day for your future is a better use of funds.
Having open and honest discussions about your differing financial viewpoints in all aspects of the budget might seem overwhelming at first, but it doesn't have to be. Understanding your own, and your partner’s money languages can add depth and perspective. This may lead to better communication about your joint finances – and how to make them work for BOTH of you.
The Four Money Languages
Everyone has a money language, but do you know which one you are? Dr. Kenneth Doyle, financial psychologist, breaks it down into four basic profiles.
The “Driver” is someone who equates money to success. Having money protects against the fear of incompetence, and the more money they have, the more successful and competent they feel. Drivers communicate love by showing what money has done to improve the lives of those around them. The greatest weakness of this money language is that Drivers can be overly dependent on money for their self-esteem. They might feel a deep sense of inadequacy when they lack money, and may tend to be more materialistic.
“Analytics” are people who view money as a source of security to protect them from life's difficulties. They tend to be very structured and organized in their approach to money, and are the most likely to establish a budget and stick to it. They are well structured financially, and they are good long-range money planners. The Analytic communicates love by saving money, thereby looking out for the future well-being and interests of loved ones. The weakness of Analytics is that they tend to be unyielding and legalistic regarding budgeting and money issues. It's common for people who are around Analytics to feel less important than money. Analytics can unintentionally communicate a disregard for the feelings of others because of a conservative financial attitude.
Relationships and people are the focus of the financial desires of the "Amiables." To them, money means love and affection. A lack of money translates as an inability to demonstrate love. Amiables communicate love by sharing what they have with those around them, especially family and friends. The weakness is that while Amiables are generous and good-hearted, they are often poor money managers and may lack long-range planning skills.
To the “Expressive,” money is acceptance. It purchases the respect and admiration of others. It provides the basis of relationships with desirable people. Expressives communicate love by shopping, buying, and spending to gain acceptance from a select group. This language can be used in a negative way to hide feelings of pain, insecurity, or incompetence. Expressives can become overly dependent on money to solve problems and calm fears.
Open & Honest Communication About Money
Being able to understand how you and your partner react to money will allow you to speak openly and honestly when discussing finances. Understanding and validating your partner's money language can make it easier to come to agreements regarding your mutual, financial decisions. More than likely, you and your partner will have different money languages, and therefore different approaches to how you make decisions about money. This is completely acceptable, and having a healthy outlook of how each other thinks about finances will help you to find common ground.
If you get stuck, lean on your financial professional to help guide your decision-making process. As your partners, Morey & Quinn financial planners can answer all of your financial questions. We take a thorough, personal approach to get to know what’s important to you. Because that’s important to us.
Experience the Value of a Well Planned Life.
Morey & Quinn’s tailored financial strategies help you achieve the goals that are most personal to you. Whether that’s feeling confident in your retirement, saving towards your children’s future education, or having confidence in your investments and savings plans. When you have questions about your financial path, Morey & Quinn Wealth Partners are here to help guide you with a personalized, well-planned approach.
The information has been obtained from sources considered to be reliable, but Raymond James does not guarantee that the foregoing material is accurate or complete.
Any opinions are those of Bobbie Salow, and not necessarily those of RJFS or Raymond James. The information contained in this report does not purport to be a complete description of the securities, markets, or developments referred to in this material. Investing involves risk and you may incur a profit or loss regardless of strategy selected.
Raymond James does not provide tax or legal services. Please discuss these matters with the appropriate professional.
Raymond James Financial Services does not endorse and is not associated with Dr. Kenneth Doyle.